A Bottle of Sunshine

I've never really considered myself to be the 'eternally happy' person, or the 'always cheerful' person, 'little-miss-sunshine', or even the most 'positive thinking' person before. I usually gripe when I'm annoyed, I can get bogged down in things, and I really do like a good bitch n' moan once in awhile. I have to say though, lately? Lately, I sure feel like the resident bottle of sunshine!! You know, that person you hate at work because they always seem to be hapy and in a good mood and loving their life and eating truffles or some-such nonsense??

.   I   .   love   .   my   .   job   .

I don't say that because my boss reads my blog (I'm quite sure that he doesn't!), I really mean it - I love my job. I'm a teacher again, and I have the best kids. They bring me little "I love you" pictures and notes that they worked on at home so I can put them up on display. I get paid well, I enjoy my school, my students are amazing (even the duller ones), and I have a boss that really takes care of the school. The boss brings us treats every week from Costco (pretzels, cookies, apple pie, etc), and they provide north american-style coffee as well. I don't work too late most days, I have my weekends totally free, and I get told I'm doing a good job often. I have an awesome apartment that is clean and in a pretty new building in a nice neighbourhood, I live one block from the river system and one block from school, and I can go home on afternoon break if I want to. I am surrounded by amazing restaurants, am only 20 minutes from the 'big city,' and I can get anywhere in the country really cheaply when I'm so inclined. There's lots to do, lots to see, and I even have vacation time coming!

I have days where I miss home, miss my family, miss being able to buy a pair of jeans or shoes easily, miss being understood without effort, but for the most part, I am really, really, happy. At work, almost since I first arrived, the people I work with have been getting more and more negative every week. It feels like they complain all the time from when they get off the bus in the morning until they walk out the doors at the end of the day, and they take every tiny thing (done or said by the boss) personally and critically. The guy really can't do any right for the most part at the moment (it seems), no matter how he tries.

Now not to say he hasn't done a few things to annoy his teachers legitimately, he has, but really as I see it you have 3 choices when you're mad at or annoyed with someone:

• (A) Tell the dum-dum who has irritated or annoyed you why you're mad or annoyed at them, get it off your chest, get it fixed, and let it go
• (B) Bitch to everyone here there and everywhere for next 3-10 days straight about it until they want to throw a can of coffee at your head
  -or -
• (C) Decide if there was something useful in the offensive/annoying conversation you can take away with you, and let the rest of it go.... it doesn't really matter in the big picture anyway!

Now (A) might be the best choice in a lotta places: air the issue, talk about how it might be changed, do something about it. However, I have to say that in my opinion it's not the best choice here in Korea, especially when you're dealing with your boss. You can tell your boss you're annoyed with something he did. You can tell your boss you're not happy with a decision he made about a student or a class, but for the most part it will fall on deaf ears. While you are saying "Listen Bossman, when you interrupted my class AGAIN yesterday to talk to me about my electricity bill I felt all annoyed and it really irritated me," Bossman is just hearing "Ooookaaay.... teacher's mad, smile and nod, smile and nod, say 'ok ok, I understand', smile some more and nod nod nod, give a bit of a bow, say 'ok ok, I'm sorry teacher,' back away slowly, don't make too much eye-contact" until you either stop talking or go away. It's all about saving face over here - they'll just try to smooth it over and make you happy (or make you stop telling them your problem), but they're not likely to change whatever the problem was in the first place.

The part that's the most fun about not being able to use (A) at work is that every little thing you've ever been annoyed about (or things that aren't even about you that just annoyed you by-proxy, seeping into your pores over coffee break) become piled one on top of the other in a precariously teetering tower of madness, particularly if you enjoy keeping a little black book of grievances in your head... I'm waiting for some of the towers in the staffroom to come tumbling down... I plan to be out for a walk in the sunshine when it happens! 

(B) is very common at my school. Forget (A), no sense going there and we (most of us most of the time) know it, so let's sit down with the other teachers and tell them all why Bossman's a jerk who doesn't know what he's doing, where he's going, or which wheels are gonna gettim there. Repeat B for every 10-minute break during the day (and get so engrossed in the telling that you are at least 5 minutes late for every class), on the walk home from school, and during afternoon break if and when the mood strikes. Add some extra insults and derogatories in about the boss just for good measure so you know for sure that everyone understands how serious you are about being annoyed and irritated. Throw in a few "it just wasn't like this a few years ago" as well while shaking your head and rubbing your chin, while pining for the days of old. Keep doing this until there's something new that irritates or annoys you about the boss, and then take a deep breath, go back to the beginning and start anew.

(C), however, is the way I prefer to deal with annoyance in Korea (for the most part). I get to thinking hey, I live in another country where people don't usually say quite what they mean (translation problems), it's really not necessary to take everything personally or to heart. When Boss does pop into my class unexpectedly for non-school reasons, or when he wants to have a 5th meeting during my breaktime (to talk about the same textbook he pulled me out of my class to talk about yesterday) so he can satisfy himself that I'm teaching it correctly, or when he has feedback (e.g. criticisms) about my tests or homework assignments, I really try hard not to take it personally. I decide if there's anything in it I need to take away from it (e.g. maybe I'm doing something wrong with the book? Maybe he's having a need-for-micro-managing moment that's not even about me or the book?), and then I let it go, let it be, move on. Yes, he sometimes says things that make me scratch my head and raise my eyebrow after he's gone. Yes, he has a couple of sentence-starters that get annoying when you hear them repeatedly in a day (and even more more annoying when 7 other teachers are mimicking and complaining about them). Yes, that headset mic he sometimes forgets he's wearing when shepherding the kids out of the school is irritating... but I get over it... He's the boss of me a few hours a day; he pays my wages, and for the most part as long as he's reasonable in what he's asking for, I'll teach my kids standing on one foot while spinning in a circle patting my head and rubbing my tummy if that's how he'd prefer they be taught - no skin off my nose!

Occasionally I try to break through all of the staff room complaining (it turns into a big stone-soup bitch-session usually where everyone brings their favorite or most-recent complaint to add into the pot). Once in awhile I try to point out how you might take a breath and maybe look at things differently (i.e. how we might think about letting it go), but I'm usually met with "well you don't know how it used to be here, it's just not the same," or just silence (and I'm sure some covert eye-rolling). I want to bang my head on the table some days to make it all stop, but instead I've decided that my MP3 player is a far better option than a self-inflicted head injury (thank you Halvar Jonson Centre :) ). That and a book and I just disappear into my own world for my breaks so I don't have to listen to it all - that way I don't get sucked into the fight that isn't even mine to begin with.

The way I see things, I have a boss who busts his a$$ to keep all of the mothers happy (very difficult job when you have an 80-child kindergarten I would say) so they keep their children in his school, who eats-sleeps-and-breathes a family-run business that is his family's only livelihood (wife is kid-Manager, mother-in-law is cook and cleaner), who tries to keep 8 sometimes very needy, demanding and temperamental teachers happy (while paying between $300 and $500 more per month than similar schools), and who really cares about having a happy school. It seems to me that he tries really hard to make sure things are well run, that the kids are happy and well-taught, and that the teachers do their jobs the way he has designed (we're a lazy lot if you don't keep tabs sometimes!). He rarely gets a thanks from us, and I'm sure it's the same from the mothers, and he's really just trying to do his job the best way he knows how. Give the guy a break... I'm grateful to be where I am, and I'm happy - the whole schabang, kit n' kaboodle. I'll do what I can to keep the Boss happy: happy boss = happy me - I really plan on staying that way!

Now for the moment I'm headed out for a walk with the pup and then back to work. Back to my papers, back to my powerpoints, and back to school (and hopefully to bed early tonight!). I hope your day carries you along somewhere you can be happy, I'm doing my best where I am!!  Talk soon...